Strained toxic relationships exist. Sometimes we are too enmeshed, we hardly even notice. Being entangled in a toxic relationship manifestly affects your mental space and inner peace, both of which are important for a fulfilling and happy life. They are a poison that slowly kills your emotional balance. Relationships are meant to be mutually constructive, healthy, and uplifting. The moment you realize that they have been the opposite, in such a way that it is more than just a rough patch which can be dealt with, it’s time to detach. Learn why detaching from toxic relationships is healthy.


When do you know you are in a toxic relationship?

Relationships usually have ups and downs. It is part of human nature and an important aspect of growth. However, there is a big difference between relationship challenges and toxic relationships. Recognizing the difference is important. Even though it is not always easy to tell, there are red flags you can identify in a toxic relationship. Some of them include irrational argumentative behavior, unhealthy obsession, and sometimes dangerous physical reaction such as physical abuse and violence.

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Such behavior is often revealed after an attachment has been established and a person begins to reveal the worst in them. Perhaps it’s their personal insecurities, fears, or faults that make them reveal their authentic version. Holding on to false hope that there is a chance that things could get better just serves to fuel the toxicity. Instead of holding into a toxic relationship because you feel needy or too entangled, make the tough but best decision of detaching from it immediately.

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Detaching from toxic relationships

Toxic manipulation and obsession

Manipulative people will always prioritize themselves and pay less attention to you. Their agenda is to do absolutely anything to feel powerful. They are extremely obsessive, jealous, and in constant need of attention and reassurance. “I did it because you provoked me” “Why do you always push me?” These are some of the statements made by toxic people after disagreements. They are egocentric and are never in the wrong. Such characteristics are a source of negative energy that you will attract from them. This affects your mood, mental health, and hinders your ability to achieve your goals in life.

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Loss of personal control

Whenever you find yourself in an environment where you have to cede control over your personal life choices, you need to detach. Relationships should be a positive addition for you. It is not an opportunity for your partner to take advantage of you and control you around. Being able to say no when a decision isn’t best for you is ok; it’s your right. If this is no longer possible, the relationship is definitely one-sided.

Change is highly unlikely

Sometimes we would want to hold onto relationships in the hope that the situation will change. Recurring toxic behavior in a relationship never changes. Toxic people are just that; toxic. It may be tough to detach especially if you have been in a relationship too long. Nonetheless, false hope isn’t any better. You are just prolonging the negative impacts of the toxic relationship on your mental and spiritual state. Change is visible. The fact that you’re still sad, unhappy, and stressed means that it’s not worth it.

It’s damaging and a barrier to growth

Anything or anyone who inhibits your ability to live the best version of life you desire should not be part of you. A relationship that constantly attracts negative energy can damage your self-esteem, mental health, and the ability to grow to accomplish your goals. Supportive and positive relationships are crucial for your personal growth.

Unhealthy future skepticism

Victims of toxic relationships often lose trust and faith in future relationships they may have with other people. Most of them self-isolate and withdraw from existing and future relationships. Why let one toxic relationship destroy your personal beliefs and turn you into a skeptical person? Trust is important for any healthy relationship. The inability to trust people means that you won’t be comfortable confiding in others and build long-lasting relationships.

Toxic relationships are mentally draining

An environment where you are constantly to blame for any issues, constantly enduring negative talk, emotional and physical abuse is mentally draining. You’re probably struggling to get anything done for yourself because you are rarely in the right headspace. Yet, the person causing you all this turmoil is going on with their business unaffected. So sad!


How then do you detach?

Accept the hard truth

Start by recognizing that you are in a toxic relationship. It’s a tough truth that you have to face and accept before you can move on to detach. Release the negative energy that had occupied your mental space and create space for positivity. It is most likely that the person you are letting go will notice and try to talk you out of it. Hold firm to your truth and say no.

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Think about what you want

Spend some time soul searching to find clarity on the type of relationships you would want to nurture with people. Toxic relationships sometimes shift our focus from what matters most to us. You were only focused on pleasing someone else and avoiding disagreements. What would you like to feel? What do you want to gain from a relationship? Support, happiness, peace, love, and kindness in everyone’s desire in a healthy relationship. Write it down, meditate on it, and prepare yourself to manifest what you wish for. Don’t forget you are worthy and powerful. Focus on what makes you happy and let go of everything else that doesn’t add to your happiness.

Set some boundaries

Having boundaries is totally ok. The fact that you have boundaries should not be an issue in a relationship. It just shows that you have your own personal limits, and there’s simply that place you can’t go beyond. A good friend or partner should be able to love and respect your boundaries. You should not feel obligated to do anything that you don’t believe in. As you detach and probably get into new relationships, set your boundaries, and make them known to others. It is a sign of self-respect, self- awareness, and strength.

Create new healthy relationships

There is no shortage of healthy relationships. Don’t be too needy or attached to toxic relationships because you feel you can’t do without them. Reframe your mindset about relationships and allow yourself to meet new people who attract positive energy. There are definitely a few positive relationships you already have. Appreciate them and turn to them to fill the space that the toxic relationship occupied. Invest more in relationships that build you, even if it’s just one relationship.

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